Wednesday, August 13, 2008

the countdown begins...

Well I have been trying desperately to enjoy my 10 last days of freedom, so to speak. It has been, to say the least, a rollercoaster of a ride. While I am filled with anxiety for all that is about to happen. I want to express my deepest and most sincere goodbye.

As many of you know, I volunteered for this. In the one month spent in Yakima, I can say it has been nothing less that an eye opening experience. I wouldn't say that I bit off more than I can chew. However, I am consistantly filled with fear of failing you or those who I serve with. With that said, most of you know me to be one that has a way of avoiding complete travisty. So while there may be a noose around my neck, I do hang in there.

If I failed to say goodbye properly or in person, please know that it does not take away from who you are to me or how much you have touched me. I look forward to keeping you all informed of at least my existance. I hope!!!! I look forward to keeping in touch with you while I am gone. Geez!a year is a very long time to be gone. I want to hear from all of you and what is happening in your lives. Maybe send me the lastest and greatest funnies. Photos will be good too! Naked ones of females are always welcomed, hell they always were! (please note FEMALES, Christopher!)

I realize this is a bit short. I do apologize. I want to send preemptive Happy Holidays, Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy...you get the picture, I hope. I love you all! I look forward to my return. Make sure to have to warm Schmidt waiting for me!

Love,

Frikafran

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I'm Back!!!!

Well I do apologize for the lengthy delay. As many of you have requested, even to the point of almost threatening me. You know you are. I am starting a new blog as to keep you all informed of my current venture into "Peace Keeping".

I have only been on "vacation" because of the uncertainty as to what would happen to dear ol' me. Well here is how it all played out. The military offered an opportunity for me to visit and exotic place with sunny sands and many sites to see. Of course I had to jump at the opportunity. However...there certainly seems to be a lot of training in combat situations. And on top of that, I fail to see Yakima as a precursor to such a resort of leisure.

Needless to say, I would like to apologize from the get go. As you tax payers should be entitled to a better use of you well spent money than to let the likes of me be a leader. I use the term loosely mind you. but it seems that all that extra money they pay me, requires me to be responsible. I don't recall that ever being in the job description.

As for those of you who know me, or at least of all claim to. I want to assure you that I am doing everything I can to make me into a "lean, mean, fighting, machine". I can't swear it's working. However, due to the local of Yakima being so close to Hell, I have manage to sweat off many of the pounds I oh so need to. I have been introduce to medical training that has assured me that only professionals should work with needles. And only your finger should go up your nose (feel free to ask for demonstration). I have learned that MRE's no matter what it says it is, it tastes exactly the same. Followed by the same ultra stinky result. I have learned the root word of Yakima is Yak. And most importantly, when they say "don't volunteer for anything, they weren't kidding.

I press thru all this with a smile on my face. It could just be insanity showing. But I am remaining ultra optimistic. Honestly!

I will continue to post a update as I can. Please feel free to email me with current event and wishes of luck. As for the only reading I seem to maintain is the obsession of taking a crap written on the restroom stalls. As I like to tell everyone here, Peace to you and all mankind (why do they get mad at me for that?)

Frikafran

Monday, May 5, 2008

Where's your membership card?

I have lived most of my life in the beautiful Northwest. I have even failed to really partake in it's beauty. And like many others, have often taken for granted it's sights and glory. Years ago, as many of you will recall, President T. Roosevelt mandated that such beauty be preserved. With that, all the natural wonderment that resides should be left to supplement such landscapes.

Within them thar hills, many speculate the the infamous "Big Foot" may even wander amongst this Bob Ross-esque paradise. However, it is not of the unseen that I write about this week. It is a creature that walks among us. Here in the great state of Washington, we have a creature that we (*mind you I use the term "we" as a collective, not as in agreement) Washingtonians tend to be a part of The Democratic party. Ah how they roam rampid in these parts. This creature has very distinct qualities. Usually fat pockest. While I'm not one to stand on a platform for either the Republican nor Democratic party. I am merly the prey. I can see when one is a carnivore and I'm gazed upon like a steak. And they've been gnawing at my ass for a while.

Now, we benefit in many ways here in the state of Seattle. We have ample supplies of coffee and our instinctive means of communication have been sharpened thanks to "Uncle" Gates. We have adapted to our habitat and promoted the idea of taking to the air (Boeing). Maybe Darwin was right. And here in Northern San Francisco, have evolved to the next level. HOWEVER!!!! It is at a cost! One does not presume to be a member of the Pack until one pays their dues.

You see the Bank of Washington State has required, although they dare not say it outright, a heavy fee for membership. And new and more creative means have been developed to feed their insatiable hunger. You see we are currently #6 in the country for gas. We pay exuberant taxes that many of us were to believe was to maintain roads, er, trails, for us to use to gather resources. When we partake in our daily stampede to our "hunting grounds", we congest. We have traffic that wakes me in a cold sweat, even when I'm awake. Granted, I reside withing the den. Some may not know of the cold, harshness that our new concrete jungle has provided. Amongst our leaders, a voice has spoken. He claims that we should Toll our highways as a means to correct our congestion problems.

Ah, I do so wish I had a college education. Then I wouldn't have to work so hard at being an idiot. I could vie for a position amongst the council. I suppose I could just let this go. But I have a thorn in my paw, you see. Within the last year we were surprised to find that our beloved Department of Transportation pointed out, what I suppose should have been obvious to us bottom feeders, that the additional taxes we pay on our liquid gold is not supposed to be used for the betterment of our roads. Even though we were told this when we voted for it. And in a sick, almost I wish I had swallowed broken glass kind of way, I understood. For I don't speak their language fluently. But to impose a fee, to use roads that were, for what I understood, already paid for?

I can't put all the blame on our beloved Demon-cratic leaders. For the tribe has in fact, spoken. And you are here because we welcomed you. We offered our gold and trinkets. We sacrificed for you to be in such a position. Sleep well. We will bear this burden of responsibility.

Ah, thank you dear leaders! Thank you for pointing out the not so obvious. Thank you for spending $3.1 billion dollars to come to such educated decisions for us. Thank you for showing us that we are not capable of knowing that you are going to mate with us in a ferocious manner. But I must say, between the screwing you give me and the chewing of my ass, I'm very, VERY sore!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Stupid people and glue...

I suppose sometime ago the first of many were born. A fault in evolution. Even as the Neaderthals were limited to intellect, there had to be an idiot amongst them. While their lack of ability to function can often be blamed on many of today's technologies, i.e. lead based paint, power lines, etc.. I am curious as to the reasoning's of their early start. For this would be the roots of a lineage that gives us the most stupid of stupid people. It is not so easily ignored for it is genetics that created this creature. This menace to society. These who reek havoc and dis function upon the masses.

Now there are those that claim that aliens are amongst us, I don't know. For some of them are in fact...idiots. But this plays into theory of mine. While we here on Earth are so arrogant to believe we are the smartest of all the creatures, could we be living amongst others? Others that look just like us and we would never know the difference? For that is just the case with the said Stupids of the world. They look like us. They sound like us. And what is truly scary, they will breed like us.

The merge themselves within our daily lives. While we, the not so stupid, are just ignorant to their ways. Are they plotting, I doubt it. For they could not be smart enough...could they? And if so what would be their plot. To just take over the world? We see them oh so frequently in politics and in business. To confuse us? *see my previous statement. To drive us insane? We only have to look to our workplace, don't we? I believe they are here to steal our air. To deny the basics of survival for those who could put that clean, fresh air to good use.

But who is to blame here? For we support them. We vote for them, we hire them, we buy their music, and watch their stupid movies. We work for them, we give in to believe that we are just helping the "little guy" out. We desensitize our ways of life so not to offend them. But think about this, that's just what they want. And every now and then we loose another intelligent person through some form of hypnosis. By making a new law or rule that say we should bow down to those less mentally fortunate, if only to avoid offending the said idiot. Now, they have become one too!

So, again, who is to blame. Who was the first idiot. Who has made a populous that is dependant on sucking on glue sticks like they were pixie sticks? Who is it that is responsible for me not being able to just smack the stupid right out of them? For their own good of course. I need a name!!! I demand a name!!!! For the life my children lead will be determined by the stupid people. Are they the squeaky wheels folks? Why?!?!? When can a man stand up and say, "NO MORE JELLO FOR ME MOM!!!"

WHEW! I know this is a lot to digest. But I work with many a stupid, in fear, mind you. For they may covet what I know. They may be plotting to take my air as we speak. While this supports my belief that this is a perfect example of why you shouldn't do partial abortions. You either do the whole thing or let them grow. For the stupid people are getting smarter!!

Frikafran

It's Myspace, not Yourspace people!

Well I may have to start this with a form of a disclaimer:
I do enjoy Myspace as much as the next person, so no, I'm not being a hypocrite.

Now, with that said, ENOUGH! I understand now the necessity for an age limit on Myspace. Just like the argument that, maybe the age limit for alcohol should be raised, some people just aren't mature enough for such a responsibility.

So just who am I referring too? Those that see the need to post every little bit of unnecessary, unwanted, unimportant crap that could possibly happen to them, or anyone else for that matter. For the need to post a new picture every flippin second they change their clothes or dye their hair. With such goals as, "I need just 4,504 more pictures/friends". Tell me something, do you get a prize? Really, have you gotten to such a point that you need fictitious associates to redeem your inability to interact with the physical world.

Now I realize the irony in that statement. I sit here now trying to meet the masses with electronic strokes, on an imaginary piece of paper, to a crowd that probably won't exist. But that's what we've become. A civilization that strives to find meaning and importance to a life that is just as meaningful, or not, as everyone else. Ah the statement flashes before me like a neon sign; "you are an individual, just like everyone else!". But that's not what I'm discussing today.

I'm talking about those that feel the need to post a message of "HEY! Look at me!!". How about sending a post like, "Hey, I finally did something with my life, at 37 even". Nobody cares if you have 15 pictures of you positioning your hand 27 different ways. Or the traditional, "here's me in a pink hat" and "here's me in a blue hat". ENOUGH. I may have to start campaigning with "here's me flipping you off in blue." and "here's me flipping you off, naked." There is more to life than me taking time to see just how different you look on Monday as you do on a Tuesday.

I'm sure there are a million blogger's who have taken it upon themselves to post exactly what I bring to you today. I realize that I may lack the creativeness to preach something new. But, if you assholes would stop, I wouldn't be repeating what has already been stated.

My second disclaimer: I realize you are all my friends and family. Many of which are listed accordingly on my Myspace page. I love you all, except that one person. But let's make a effort to post quality, not quantity.

Frikafran
So I might be over stepping my boundaries. It won't be the first time, nor the last. But I'm going to address an entity far, FAR bigger than myself. Dear reader, I will now step into the ring with the "big boys". I will undoubtedly fail. And will be looked upon as foolish. Some might even say, stupid. But it is for you. It is for me. It is for mankind. It is a tale told, too many times. It's David and Goliath. It's us, against them.

What could this be? I want to address...(insert simulated drum roll, please), THE NEWS!!!! As with many of my written tangents, I have a similar issue. That being a never ending circle. Very similar to a dog chasing it's own tail. Trying to figure out just what, how, and who is responsible for the stupidity that plaques our society.

Okay! Enough with the set up, I sound like the NEWS right now. And that's who I want to give my weekly wedgie to. Can someone please explain to me why, in light of all that is happening in the world right now, headlines are filled with crap like Paris Hilton, Miley Cyrus, and Brittany Spears. It's like ordering a shit sandwich and someone added extra shit sauce. Well I don't want extra sauce!!!! With the world in shambles as it is, I have to believe that people use this as an excuse to live in denial as to what really is important. Look I'm even trying to help out the single cell organisms of the world.

I saw to amazing things yesterday, in the worlds greatest country. This "Home of the Brave", if you will. I witnessed $3.77 a gallon for gas. And!!! Miley Cyrus is upset about some photos taken by a world renowned photographer. What the hell? Who would have thought that the fools in the democratic party would play second fiddle to such a travesty? And speaking of which. Here we have reduced something so important as to...I don't know...THE CHOOSING OF OUR NEXT LEADER!!!!!!!! it could have some minor importance, to a secondary piece on the front page. Granted, it is a circus. A carnival ride. But I'm here to say, I'm about to throw up. In the words of George Jetson, "Jane! Get me off this crazy thing!".

I am thankful for my lack of television. Because we are swarmed with video of these articles. Where we are told, forcibly mind you, that these things are important. While it supplies me with images and pretty lights to hold me over until Billy May tells me what other amazing products he has for me. But why does a show like Entertainment Tonight believe, me, Frikafran, would give a rats ass as to who is wearing what. And on that diabolical topic! Who told these ass(W)holes that a sideshow freak, Cojo would dictate to anyone what is appropriate to wear. Has anyone looked at shim? Really! Just because they're gay doesn't mean they have a clue as to what to wear. If that were the case we all be looking like we are on our way to an ABBA tribute convention just to change the flippin oil.

I'm so sick and tired of trying to find out how messed up the world is everyday only to be bombarded by stories of celebrities, who mystify me as to what it is exactly they do to obtain such a status. Good people, I beg, I throw myself to you. Please, PLEASE, oh god of tabloids, stop this insanity. Quit buying People. Quit watching ET. This is exactly how they win. They want you to be distracted, so that you might not notice that oil prices have probably gone up $15 since you started reading this. I can't do this on my own. DAMN YOU MARY HART!!! I just want to kick her ass. I don't care if Brittany is in rehab. I care about the children who's parents are striving to live a life like Brittany and get themselves arrested so that my taxes are raising them. A byproduct of society and their need to stop and ogle at the accidents of societies highways.

Bro, HO, or Hero, one of these son's-of-a-Jeffs are going to screw the shit out of us for at least four years. We just might want to know which one we need to duck from. I suggest we keep focused on these jerks. We know Paris is screwing someone. We don't know which one of these will be screwing us.

So please refrain from the glossy pages of "glamour and glitz". Look not into their eyes. It's as bad as glue sticks. I now have to sell my car to pay for gas to put in it. Good luck, and don't forget to duck!

Frikafran

Sunday, April 13, 2008

The Introduction

Welcome to my blog. Don't forget to duck. This may end up becoming nothing more than an a posting of ramblings. It could serve as my manifesto. Hell, it could end up being the most important document since Green Eggs and Ham!

I hope to share with you, my reader, some of the thoughts that I deal/struggle with daily. For I only seem to share only the thoughts that pertain to a particular individual. This may help give a more complete (or not so complete) picture, for those of you who care.

It is my hope that this will serve more therapeutic than as a definition as to who I am/was. I hope to cover so many topics, beliefs, ideas, hopes, views, and blatant trivial wastes of time.

So, now that I remembered the website and where I had this set, I do look forward to this venture.

Frikafran!!!