So I might be over stepping my boundaries. It won't be the first time, nor the last. But I'm going to address an entity far, FAR bigger than myself. Dear reader, I will now step into the ring with the "big boys". I will undoubtedly fail. And will be looked upon as foolish. Some might even say, stupid. But it is for you. It is for me. It is for mankind. It is a tale told, too many times. It's David and Goliath. It's us, against them.

What could this be? I want to address...(insert simulated drum roll, please), THE NEWS!!!! As with many of my written tangents, I have a similar issue. That being a never ending circle. Very similar to a dog chasing it's own tail. Trying to figure out just what, how, and who is responsible for the stupidity that plaques our society.

Okay! Enough with the set up, I sound like the NEWS right now. And that's who I want to give my weekly wedgie to. Can someone please explain to me why, in light of all that is happening in the world right now, headlines are filled with crap like Paris Hilton, Miley Cyrus, and Brittany Spears. It's like ordering a shit sandwich and someone added extra shit sauce. Well I don't want extra sauce!!!! With the world in shambles as it is, I have to believe that people use this as an excuse to live in denial as to what really is important. Look I'm even trying to help out the single cell organisms of the world.

I saw to amazing things yesterday, in the worlds greatest country. This "Home of the Brave", if you will. I witnessed $3.77 a gallon for gas. And!!! Miley Cyrus is upset about some photos taken by a world renowned photographer. What the hell? Who would have thought that the fools in the democratic party would play second fiddle to such a travesty? And speaking of which. Here we have reduced something so important as to...I don't know...THE CHOOSING OF OUR NEXT LEADER!!!!!!!! it could have some minor importance, to a secondary piece on the front page. Granted, it is a circus. A carnival ride. But I'm here to say, I'm about to throw up. In the words of George Jetson, "Jane! Get me off this crazy thing!".

I am thankful for my lack of television. Because we are swarmed with video of these articles. Where we are told, forcibly mind you, that these things are important. While it supplies me with images and pretty lights to hold me over until Billy May tells me what other amazing products he has for me. But why does a show like Entertainment Tonight believe, me, Frikafran, would give a rats ass as to who is wearing what. And on that diabolical topic! Who told these ass(W)holes that a sideshow freak, Cojo would dictate to anyone what is appropriate to wear. Has anyone looked at shim? Really! Just because they're gay doesn't mean they have a clue as to what to wear. If that were the case we all be looking like we are on our way to an ABBA tribute convention just to change the flippin oil.

I'm so sick and tired of trying to find out how messed up the world is everyday only to be bombarded by stories of celebrities, who mystify me as to what it is exactly they do to obtain such a status. Good people, I beg, I throw myself to you. Please, PLEASE, oh god of tabloids, stop this insanity. Quit buying People. Quit watching ET. This is exactly how they win. They want you to be distracted, so that you might not notice that oil prices have probably gone up $15 since you started reading this. I can't do this on my own. DAMN YOU MARY HART!!! I just want to kick her ass. I don't care if Brittany is in rehab. I care about the children who's parents are striving to live a life like Brittany and get themselves arrested so that my taxes are raising them. A byproduct of society and their need to stop and ogle at the accidents of societies highways.

Bro, HO, or Hero, one of these son's-of-a-Jeffs are going to screw the shit out of us for at least four years. We just might want to know which one we need to duck from. I suggest we keep focused on these jerks. We know Paris is screwing someone. We don't know which one of these will be screwing us.

So please refrain from the glossy pages of "glamour and glitz". Look not into their eyes. It's as bad as glue sticks. I now have to sell my car to pay for gas to put in it. Good luck, and don't forget to duck!

Frikafran